Why Do I Write?

2017 was the year I learned the value of rest. I was overwhelming myself with a laundry list of tasks I thought I needed to do in order to be a good wife and mother. While attempting to “rest” ( not an easy task for a busy body like myself), I realized that I lost touch with  who I am. I stopped dating myself. I no longer asked myself what I enjoyed doing. I didn’t treat myself to things that made me happy. I thought it was noble to sacrifice myself for the sake of my son and husband but it made me an angry mother and a bitter wife.

This year, my focus is on who I am and what I am called to be. Once I realized that being a mother and wife are titles with responsibilities, I found myself staring at a woman I barely knew. If I am not renewed (Romans 12vs 1-2) and anchored in the Lord (Eph 6 vs 10) than I am incapable of completing my assignments on earth.

“that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭1:17-19‬ ‭NASB‬‬

I desire to know God more so I can know who I was created to be. As I venture on this journey I will be writing. Mostly in my journal but also on this blog. I want to inspire other woman through my flaws and mistakes. I am not perfect alone. But through Christ I can kick butt. (Phil. 4 vs 13)

 

Here’s to a journey of self-discovery 🥂

Where have I been?

As I snuggle in bed with tea in my hand, I ponder on where I let the ball slip with this blog. So many things have taken precedence over writing which, for me isn’t good because writing keeps my mind stable. I have been balancing work life, wifely duties, being a momma to a not so little kid and being a student. I need to emphasis I am not a good juggler; so one can see how I could drop the ball trying to balance so much with just two arms.

I’m tired. I’m always tired. Lol.  But I’m so happy. God has been good in the midst of this season. He has been overfilling my cup with joy and reminding me to rest. He has been patient with my stubbornness and revealing areas in my life I need to work on. I’m learning to let go and seeing the fruit of trusting God. He’s so faithful and loving. I’m in awe that He could love such a broken mess.

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I’ve got issues y’all. I’ve got issues loving people. Now let me explain. I love people and enjoy learning about them. But I also have scars from past experiences where I have been hurt by them. People including myself can be finicky. It scares me to rely on people because they do not always live up to our expectations. While trying to deal with old wounds, I am reminded that we are in debt to love. We love inspite of hurt because love is unconditional.  Specifically we are to love our enemies. Loving unconditionally brings freedom from people bondage. We must continue to be Christ like in our actions regardless of how we feel and are treated.

I fail at this daily but I choose freedom. I choose to live by the spirit and bear fruit. I choose joy and peace. I believe the consequences of unconditional love far outweigh the battle wounds you will endure. In the words of Paul keep up the good faith.

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Stay strong my warriors! We have already won the battle. Halllelujah! We have won the victory!