Rest

I am someone who determines my success by what is around me. If I have a clean kitchen, and food prepared for my husband that makes me a great wife. If my son is booger free and has on both socks and shoes then I am a great mother. This mindset has put unrealistic expectations on myself. If my success is determined by those things I have listed, then I only obtain success on certain days of the week. Imagine how guilty I felt taking a nap knowing the kitchen looked like a war zone. Although I needed to rest because I was feeling under the weather, I didn’t feel like I deserved it.

“for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their [Israelites] example of disobedience.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:10-11‬ ‭NIV

God doesn’t want us to place our trust in what we can do. We have to trust in Him. As His children we are already designed to be wonderful because we belong to God. Even as I type this out I feel so blessed and humbled to know that I am a great wife/mother because God has created me to be great. He assures us these struggles on earth are temporary and do not compare to the eternal joy awaiting us in heaven.

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Fear of failure is an insult to God. He says our burdens will be light as long as we lift them up to him. He promises to protect us and has already given us victory. It is not okay to dwell in fear because it does not bear fruit of the Holy Spirit.

When the Israelites saw that pharoah and his army were chasing them they became angry with Moses and God. They wanted to trade freedom for shackles because they were afraid. Fear makes you think crazy things.

“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.””
‭‭Exodus‬ ‭14:13-14‬ ‭NIV
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Even in the midst of their fear,God gave them a way out. He parted the Red Sea and made sure the pharaoh and his army could never come after them again. God doesn’t want fear in our relationship. Fear means we do not believe in God and His power. Restore the joy of salvation! Think back to when you first accepted Jesus and the freedom you felt. Stop putting the shackles back on!

God has revealed to me that I always had a back up plan in case He didn’t come through (which has NEVER happened). When I feel like God is taking too long I start doing things myself. When I don’t look to him, I start comparing myself with other women’s success. I enslave myself to work so that I can prove my worth.

Rest in his grace. Pray. Take a nap. Go for a walk. Read your word. Pray. Tell a corny joke. Read the Word of God.Pray.

Be great because that is what you are. You are strong,beautiful and brave. Trust in the power of God and not yours. We serve an unlimited God. Let go and let God.

 

Eternity

For a while I have struggled to understand the joy of eternity. I use to be afraid  of eternal life because I could not understand how it could go on without ending. Life on earth has a beginning and an end. Everything on earth will face the end of time. But God reassures us that through Him we will live forever and ever and ever and ever etc.

I was searching for satisfaction in the things of this world. After graduating college I was consumed with getting into my career and making a certain amount of money. I believed that this would bring me happiness . I was very independent in college. I worked three jobs and provided for myself. As my independence heightened my dependence on God decreased. I was worshipping, praying and reading my word but I was not living a life by faith. I did not depend on God for my needs. I relied heavily on my own strengths.

It was not until I didn’t get into the masters program of my choice that I hit rock bottom. I struggled greatly with my identity because I thought I could provide everything for myself. When I did not get the job I desired I was filled with sorrow. I no longer knew who I was and did not know where my future was heading. That scared me. I had a plan for myself and it failed. At this point I resorted to plan Z aka God.

“Do not work for food that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you. For on him God the Father has placed his seal of approval.””
‭‭John‬ ‭6:27‬ ‭NIV
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I have learned that by myself I fail miserably. I cannot give myself happiness or find it in a career. As I began diving into the word and truly seeking God, the idea of eternity kept showing itself. He wants us to remember that what we see with our eyes will not always be here.I have total joy being a wife and a mother; but I understand that I do not know how long my husband and son will be with me. I have to trust in the Lord. He is eternal. He will ALWAYS be present. He will never leave or forsake Us. We have been guaranteed a spot in Heaven. Isn’t that dope? You have a secured place that you did not have to RSVP for.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.””
‭‭Deuteronomy‬ ‭31:6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I have found peace in the most uncanny place. I am currently a stay at home mom.  My CEO/director is a 7 month old who keeps me pretty busy.  I do not believe I could have found this kind of joy working a 9-5. I am still job hunting but I am living my success story now. God has been to good for me not to be full of joy.

Remember to seek first the kingdom and all things will be given to you. He promises to provide for your wants and needs. He will give you peace while in the eye of a storm. He will open doors and create routes to remind us that in Him, we are complete. Aside from him we are doomed to fail.

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May the peace and joy of God overwhelm you.

 

 

My Biggest Obstacle

My biggest obstacle is my mind.  For years I have been a prisoner to my thoughts without realizing it. It seemed natural to pick at myself and find tons of reasons why “I can’t”.  I bullied myself and called it self-love.

Its amazing the moment you realize the lies you have been feeding yourself. On one hand it is liberating to know that I can conquer these thoughts. On another hand it is scary to leave these insecurities behind. I have found it easier to complain and find excuses rather than getting up and doing something. There’s always the risk of failure. There is always the fear of what people may think; butI know God did not give me a spirit of fear. I know I am more than a conqueror.

I am in the process of winning my mind back from the enemy. The enemy is Satan. I have granted him access to my thoughts. He has made me miserable and made me think these thoughts were my own. It certainly isn’t easy. Discernment is needed to be able to distinguish thoughts that are of the Lord and thoughts that come from Satan. Do these thoughts bring you peace and harmony? Do they evoke feelings of regret or triumph? I encourage you to check your mind with this bible verse

8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. (‭Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭8‬ NIV)