Can I Get A Refill?

The beginning of this month was rough. My husband’s traveling schedule increased so Mommy duty was wearing me out. With two young boys and a child on the way I know that my energy is limited and it’s FRUSTRATING!! I want to be super mom🤦🏾‍♀️. (Insert picture of me in a cape that is blowing freely in the wind).But as Lisa Nichols said “you can’t feed others from an empty saucer”(Her quote was more elegantly written). I was running on empty and not getting enough physical, spiritual and emotional rest. 

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I know when I reach this low state I have drifted far away from God. So I crawled back into His presence… very slowly and I cried. I used every word I could think of to explain this lowly state I was feeling and when I ran out of words I grunted and screamed.

And the Lord answered me. I need to be still and accept where I am. Resting season isn’t over for me. He is trying to fill me up with fruit of the Holy Spirit and His wisdom. He reminded me that I have a network of people around me whom I can access in times of need. I am not alone.

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Resting is NOT a word that does brings me immediate relief. I don’t feel like I’m doing enough if I’m not overworked and burnt out. Imagine a well that is running low on water. It has little use for its thirsty seekers if all they can draw out is mud. I’ve been feeding my kids and my husband mud. Mud was displayed through my short temper and lack of patience. It’s not an easy clean up but I’m allowing God to fill me up again so I can wash out the mud that is covering my family. It is then that I can truly be successful in my role.

“Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine Within your house, Your children like olive plants Around your table.”

Psalms 128:3 NASB

I encourage you all to find comfort in the presence of the Holy Spirit. Be slow and intentional so that when God cues us to rest we can do so eagerly. With rest comes the pouring of his Spirit, filling in the cracks and healing the bruises we have sustained along the narrow path. Stay thirsty my friends so that you too can get a refill.

Sb:// Totally not judging you if the Erica Varner song or Dos Equis Ad popped into your head. 😁

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Where have I been?

As I snuggle in bed with tea in my hand, I ponder on where I let the ball slip with this blog. So many things have taken precedence over writing which, for me isn’t good because writing keeps my mind stable. I have been balancing work life, wifely duties, being a momma to a not so little kid and being a student. I need to emphasis I am not a good juggler; so one can see how I could drop the ball trying to balance so much with just two arms.

I’m tired. I’m always tired. Lol.  But I’m so happy. God has been good in the midst of this season. He has been overfilling my cup with joy and reminding me to rest. He has been patient with my stubbornness and revealing areas in my life I need to work on. I’m learning to let go and seeing the fruit of trusting God. He’s so faithful and loving. I’m in awe that He could love such a broken mess.

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I’ve got issues y’all. I’ve got issues loving people. Now let me explain. I love people and enjoy learning about them. But I also have scars from past experiences where I have been hurt by them. People including myself can be finicky. It scares me to rely on people because they do not always live up to our expectations. While trying to deal with old wounds, I am reminded that we are in debt to love. We love inspite of hurt because love is unconditional.  Specifically we are to love our enemies. Loving unconditionally brings freedom from people bondage. We must continue to be Christ like in our actions regardless of how we feel and are treated.

I fail at this daily but I choose freedom. I choose to live by the spirit and bear fruit. I choose joy and peace. I believe the consequences of unconditional love far outweigh the battle wounds you will endure. In the words of Paul keep up the good faith.

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Stay strong my warriors! We have already won the battle. Halllelujah! We have won the victory!

 

Rest

I am someone who determines my success by what is around me. If I have a clean kitchen, and food prepared for my husband that makes me a great wife. If my son is booger free and has on both socks and shoes then I am a great mother. This mindset has put unrealistic expectations on myself. If my success is determined by those things I have listed, then I only obtain success on certain days of the week. Imagine how guilty I felt taking a nap knowing the kitchen looked like a war zone. Although I needed to rest because I was feeling under the weather, I didn’t feel like I deserved it.

“for anyone who enters God’s rest also rests from their works, just as God did from his. Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will perish by following their [Israelites] example of disobedience.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭4:10-11‬ ‭NIV

God doesn’t want us to place our trust in what we can do. We have to trust in Him. As His children we are already designed to be wonderful because we belong to God. Even as I type this out I feel so blessed and humbled to know that I am a great wife/mother because God has created me to be great. He assures us these struggles on earth are temporary and do not compare to the eternal joy awaiting us in heaven.

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Fear of failure is an insult to God. He says our burdens will be light as long as we lift them up to him. He promises to protect us and has already given us victory. It is not okay to dwell in fear because it does not bear fruit of the Holy Spirit.

When the Israelites saw that pharoah and his army were chasing them they became angry with Moses and God. They wanted to trade freedom for shackles because they were afraid. Fear makes you think crazy things.

“Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.””
‭‭Exodus‬ ‭14:13-14‬ ‭NIV
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Even in the midst of their fear,God gave them a way out. He parted the Red Sea and made sure the pharaoh and his army could never come after them again. God doesn’t want fear in our relationship. Fear means we do not believe in God and His power. Restore the joy of salvation! Think back to when you first accepted Jesus and the freedom you felt. Stop putting the shackles back on!

God has revealed to me that I always had a back up plan in case He didn’t come through (which has NEVER happened). When I feel like God is taking too long I start doing things myself. When I don’t look to him, I start comparing myself with other women’s success. I enslave myself to work so that I can prove my worth.

Rest in his grace. Pray. Take a nap. Go for a walk. Read your word. Pray. Tell a corny joke. Read the Word of God.Pray.

Be great because that is what you are. You are strong,beautiful and brave. Trust in the power of God and not yours. We serve an unlimited God. Let go and let God.