I Surrender

Happy New Year! Hello 2019 and what you have in store for me. In my last post, I shared how broken I was feeling. I have been feeling like a failure. It just seemed that everything I set out to accomplish has crumbled before my fingertips. During the time of my last post, I transitioned from working full time to being a stay at home mother to my two beautiful boys. This transition forced  me to post pone my internship for school.

The idea of staying home with my children is not a glamorous one. My vision of a boss woman is someone who works 9-5 and brings home the bacon  or kale for my plant lovers. I felt that if I wasn’t working then I was not being a good wife and a powerful woman.

Oh the lies the enemy tries to plant in my head.

This is why I must remind myself of Psalms 1. I am a tree planted by streams of water that bears fruit in season and my leaves will never wither as long as I am under the guidance of God.

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So you may be thinking, Liz… Why are you sad? Because you don’t have to work? Because you have to stay home with the kids? I have seen that being home with the boys is the best blessing, I could have. My relationship with them is strengthening and I am learning how to love them. So no,that’s not the real issue.

The issue was how I defined success. It was apart from God and involved me hustling and grinding all by myself. All that “hardwork” brought me to my knees…literallly. I was exhausted and not paying my first ministry aka my family any mind.

I have been and still am on this long journey of self discovery and let me be honest. IT SUCKS!!!! I’ve been asking God to reveal to me what my next career path is and INSTEAD, he’s been revealing to me personal things I need to work on. He’s been showing me mindsets that have stifled my faith walk. I have done many fasts requesting direction with this program I am in for school but God is choosing to work on my heart.

Faith means I have to trust that in my obedience he will align everything perfectly so that I can reap what he has in store for me. I have to trust that by working on the things He is pointing out then, He will take care of everything else.

The theme for this year is “I Surrender”. Every time I feel anxiety I say “I surrender xyz” and wipe my hands clean. I’ve become hungry to hear God,thirsty for his blessings and plans for my life to pour over me and overflow in my cup. I no longer want to live the life I created for myself. Its trash and has led me to live an anxiety provoked, stubborn, selfish, flesh led lifestyle and I am tired y’all.

With baby #3 en route **SURPRISE**, I want a different approach on how I manage my roles as first a woman of God, a wife and a mother. Everything else must be left into the hands of God. It is hard, but I feel His peace and joy when I choose to focus on my children and give them the attention they need rather than stress out on how can I become successful.

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This hunger and thirst to know God has led me on a quest for wisdom.  I’ve been convicted that as I am on this journey of seeking God’s wisdom I must share what I learn, because the wisdom of God is not meant to be stored up in a cookie jar at the top of the fridge for my own indulgence. I must share wisdom because it is part of my journey as a believer in Jesus Christ. I am called to be a light in a dark place through my transparency.

This means I must be more diligent on this blog (Sorry yall…I’m working on consistency) and leaning not on my own understanding.

Cheers to seeking first the kingdom of God.

May his joy, peace, and grace overwhelm every area of your life.

Liz

Why Do I Write?

2017 was the year I learned the value of rest. I was overwhelming myself with a laundry list of tasks I thought I needed to do in order to be a good wife and mother. While attempting to “rest” ( not an easy task for a busy body like myself), I realized that I lost touch with  who I am. I stopped dating myself. I no longer asked myself what I enjoyed doing. I didn’t treat myself to things that made me happy. I thought it was noble to sacrifice myself for the sake of my son and husband but it made me an angry mother and a bitter wife.

This year, my focus is on who I am and what I am called to be. Once I realized that being a mother and wife are titles with responsibilities, I found myself staring at a woman I barely knew. If I am not renewed (Romans 12vs 1-2) and anchored in the Lord (Eph 6 vs 10) than I am incapable of completing my assignments on earth.

“that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭1:17-19‬ ‭NASB‬‬

I desire to know God more so I can know who I was created to be. As I venture on this journey I will be writing. Mostly in my journal but also on this blog. I want to inspire other woman through my flaws and mistakes. I am not perfect alone. But through Christ I can kick butt. (Phil. 4 vs 13)

 

Here’s to a journey of self-discovery 🥂

Prosperity & Obedience

I am afraid  of feeling vulnerable. Being transparent gives people the opportunity to criticize your life . As a someone who is weaning off the need to please others, I feel anxious knowing that people are watching me. This blog was beginning to feel like a burden.

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2:10‬ ‭NIV
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I cannot choose disobedience because I’m afraid. We are created to do good things. Walking in our purpose goes hand and hand with prosperity. He will bless us with all that we have and more.

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The Lord is calling me to be transparent for the body of Christ. I am to sharpen iron with iron and fight the lies of the devil with truth. The truth is we cannot fail in Christ. Choose Christ and be prepared to watch blessings rain down from the heavens when we walk according to His ways. I love how Psalm 1 compares our relationship with Christ to a tree planted by streams of water. We will lack nothing we need. And if you are lacking then seek it. But do it with confidence.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.”
‭‭James‬ ‭1:5-6‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Be bold for Christ and gentle in our ways! Love you all for supporting this blog. Let’s walk in the will of God and expect a life filled with prosperity.

Being Transparent

“From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled; with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭18:20‬ ‭NIV‬‬

 

I believe in the power of testimony. It is so important to share our journey with Christ with both believers and non believers. It is our testimony that draws people to God.

There is a greater purpose to my testimony. This is why I started this blog. I know I must share my success and failures with others so that they can learn and be better. It isn’t an easy task for me to do. I’m ashamed to admit but I once was a people  pleaser. I did anything to get away from conflict. I wanted so much for people to like me that I dumbed myself down in public for the entertainment of others.

I believed it was a small price to pay in order to be accepted. I felt worse about myself as I tried to be who I thought was “cool”. This prevented me from knowing myself and now at 26, I feel like I’m just getting to know who I am. As exciting as this new journey has been, I wish it didn’t begin so late.

After I accepted Jesus as my personal savior I had a fire that I couldn’t contain. There was so much I wanted to share. I wanted to be an open book with other Christians because I believe that’s what helps us grow stronger in our faith. I didn’t receive the feedback I expected and for a while I shut myself down. I chose to stop sharing because I thought I was being too transparent.

It wasn’t until God showed me  John 4 that I realized it is my testimony he wants me to share. The woman at the well went to share  the good news of Jesus to anyone she could find.  She even exposed herself, (she was someone who slept with several men), because she found freedom in Christ. God wants us to live in our freedom. He wants us to remove the shackles that prevents us from being real with ourselves and with others.

Yes people will talk about me and not like what I share, but that is a small price to pay for the greater glory of God. I pray whoever reads this may be be blessed and compelled to do the same. Come out from hiding and stand tall as the beautiful creation you are!

God loves you.